Some reflections on my transition

Leaving DC:

The last few weeks have been resplendent with metaphor, significance, action (and no, I don’t mean just that kind of action) and solidified some wonderful relationships that I'll carry forward with me. There are watershed events and times in our lives and (geesh, this is getting melodramatic) this is feeling like one for me. I think it goes without saying (but I’m going to verbalize it anyway) that this has become about more than just long bike rides. There are few people in this world who I feel like really see me when they look- and you all have become part of that small circle. Thanks for the discussion, perspective, support and general presence in my life. Keep it coming by e-mail, text messaging (now that I have the unlimited plan), blogging, calling and certainly visiting. And remember, STP is only 11 short months away!

On returning to a place I called home for so much of my life:

There’s something very comforting about this house and this topography for me. My parents bought 1925 Tahoe Circle in 1978. I know it like the back of my hand, and it provides a touchstone for me as I orbit about in the world and then come back here to check in, refuel and move on.

Being here helps provide a yardstick for where I’ve been and where I’m going which can be alternately comforting, suffocating, affirming and confusing (or all those things at the same time). Here are reflections on some of those moments in the past week:

Going back to the pool where the thought was first born that I could be a good swimmer. Then looking for Nate’s college coach in the parking lot so I can yell: “You’re fuckin’ joggin’!” at a complete stranger.

Watching Regis & Kelly, What Not to Wear, Larry King Live, local news ad nauseum and Days of our Lives with my mom. There is a lot of TV out there to watch, folks!

The serendipity of a Monster Energy truck going by as I am writing at the coffee shop.

Having my mom tear up in the waiting room of the Toyota dealership when I mention, quite by accident, that I may never have children given my age, current relationship status, blah, blah, blah- how did we get into this discussion anyway?!

How damn quiet it is here- I’ve got to put my earplugs in to sleep. Was it always this quiet and slow here? I’m used to so much more action and find myself craving it.

Installing a wireless network and noticing how addicted/dependent I am on the technology. It’s interesting, because it’s actually about connecting with people- it’s comforting to get a text message from a friend at 5 a.m. when she is trying to go to bed and I’m trying to go back to sleep after waking up and realizing that I won’t make it out in front of the Eastern Market pool this morning.

Having my mother’s friends comment to her that I’ve turned out to be such a lovely young woman- the oppositional teenager in me wants to say: as opposed to what?! Being here reminds me how outside the mainstream I am- the exercise, pursuing a PhD, the fact that I’m not married with two kids.

Almost tripping over a bump in the pavement on a long run and realizing that it is where I fell when I was six and cut my right knee (you can still see the fabulous scar). Then walking there the next day and hearing my mom tell the same story about the bump.